I Need To Watch My Words!!!

In his mind-changing book Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin makes a powerful case for the old adage, "If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all."

He says most of us say hurtful things about others much more often than we realize, and he challenges readers to go 24 hours without saying an unkind word to or about anyone. I failed.

Wounding words -- including confidence-crushing criticism, nasty sarcasm, demeaning nicknames and careless gossip – can inflict deep and lasting harm in the form of hurt feelings, negative self-images, damaged reputations and destroyed relationships. Sadly, the victims often are family and friends.

Forget "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Telushkin says unless you’ve been a victim of physical violence, chances are the worst pains you ever suffered came from words.

Grounding his views in Scripture, Telushkin says we have an ethical duty to be fair, respectful and careful when we talk about others. What we say about a person affects attitudes and dispositions and shapes reputations in ways that indelibly define that person.

Observing that we choose our clothes more carefully than we choose our words, he urges us to use our words as we would a loaded gun.

Telushkin is especially hard on gossip. That’s a hard one for me. A lot of my conversations involve talking about others. The problem is, such conversations often include unfair, unkind, insensitive or outright malicious digs, jabs and judgments.

The crucial message: Be more conscientiously kind and careful in what you say. Emphasize the positive, avoid remarks likely to cause pain or other damage and say nothing you wouldn’t want to get back to the person you’re talking about. Reminding Myself,,,,That Character Count!!!!