Breaking It Off! So Hard To Do!

On February 13, 2011, YourTango celebrated their very first annual Break Up With Your Ex Day, a day on which they urged people to let go of awkward and sometimes painful memories, insidious social media connections and dead-weight relationship baggage in an attempt to move on in both love and life. But is this to say that returning to an ex-partner, ex-lover, ex-spouse repeatedly Karma or a sign of weakness? I firmly believe that people do not just stop 'being in love'.......nor do they 'fall out of love' as if they were changing channels on the television. Loving emotions cannot be turned off like that. Love is a deep, lasting emotion that can withstand betrayal, hurt, anger, fear, and confusion and unfortunately, love can also be denied, subdued, or buried so deep in our psyche that it is not felt and unacknowledged. But it is still there and it CAN resurface again, and again, GEESH!!!

When a person returns to an ex-partner, ex-lover or ex-spouse, it doesn't necessarily have to have anything at all to do with karma. It is not always a sign of weakness. Some of these people are stronger for the return. (It actually depends on the situation.) Some of them truly are weak. (This also depends on the situation.) There are so many problems associated with returning time and again to the same old, same old. When nothing has changed between you, why keep going back to the same thing that was not satisfying the first, second, or even third time around?

Life is truly like a river. And as stated in all philosophies, you can not step into the river twice in the same place. It is ever moving, ever changing. It is an indication of our own human nature, that we, too, are ever changing. So if relationships are changing, why would anyone be stuck to the same old person, place, thing? The reasons I am sure are many when we try to justify our behavior but come down to one thing only: The fears we hold of moving on. We are stuck in fear and can not enjoy the adventure and fun of looking beyond what we already know. Perhaps it is 'rather the devil I know, than the one I don't know' attitude that keeps us stuck in the old, tried and usually, failed love(s) past rather than moving onward and upward. I honestly feel that if someone does not like me for who I am, then it is their loss, not mine. I am special, with all the good, the bad, the ugly that is me, accept it or move on. This is a very powerful energy to get a hold on and keep it growing. So the truly real feelings that keep us coming back time and again have nothing to do with any preconceived ideas such as karma, but more to do with our own fears.


Paul Simon says there are fifty ways to it. I imagine there are probably fifty-thousand ways to it. But when it comes to leaving your lover for good, one thing's for certain: it's never easy. One thing for sure is, you have got to get clear. Off-again on-again relationships are dramatic and draining for both parties involved. Are you ready to break up once and for all or simply in need of a little space to sort out your feelings? If you are living together, then space can be evasive, but I encourage anyone in this situation, to get their independence back to the forefront as if your life depends on it...Because remaining in a situation because of lack of preparation, just leads to degradation of the soul....Or just follow this “exit strategy” of Paul Simon 50 ways To Leave Your Lover (for good)....LOL.

"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Ooo slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free!!!
Until then, leave everyone else alone, or someone is bound to be a casualty of “your” war!