Satin Sheets Slide!

Okay, got some deeper things on my mind today,,,I have a question????? Have you ever seen the rich satin sheets that are draped invitingly across the beds in magazines and commercials? They look so inviting. They evoke sensuality, sexuality,and romance. Picture black satin sheets decorated with a single red rose. The scene seems to promise nights of unbridled passion. Satin sheets appear to promise erotic evenings similar to the ones we read about in romance novels. from the female perspective, they have all the aesthetic qualities needed to cause a warm glow to emanate from within. Yet I bet that whoever created the first set of satin sheets could not have been a man. Although I'd be hard-pressed to find a guy who didn't like the feel of satin against his skin, but most men would agree that satin is the worst possble material for love. Let me explain. Satin is cold in the winter; it holds absolutely no heat. In the summer, it will make you sweat because it does not breathe. It does not absorb moisture, and it wrinkles like linen. But the worst thing about it, from a male perspective that is, is that it makes you slide like a skater in an ice rink..Heehee. Satin sheets are horrendous for the man who wants to be amorous to the woman he desires. They will make him look like a real klutz as he slips around....
Satin is fine for the woman if she likes the feeling of a silky material on her spine. She can lie in the lap of luxury. But if the man is going to stay afloat, he would do far better to have some plain cotton or flannel sheets. You see, ladies, satin might be pretty, but it destroys all semblance of balance and leaves you grabbing for the bedpost and groping for handfuls of mattress just to turn aroun in the sack, much less try an acrobatic feat of passion. It is amazing that something that looks so inviting could be so impractical. I guess that just goes to show you that what looks good to the eye isn't always as good as it appears... Greater still is the issue that no two people are the sam...No man would have created those sheets, and if he did he would have quickly done a recall after one night of lying on them. It may be the look of love that we all want, but God knows we see through different eyes. We may see the same thing, but our vision is affected by culture, gender, and need perception. There is nothing wrong with having different viewpoints. In fact, it's pretty natural. People are different, with different needs. Neither viewpoint is better than the other; neither is more right. They're just different......
The very common mistake is, we fail to consider that there may be some things that work for you, but drive your love interest cRaZy. could it be possible that while you were busy enjoying your satin sheets, while the person beside you was silently praying they wouldn't slide out of the bed? If you never tell your partner/romantic interest what you want, you leave them on their own and they have to guess...Sooooo she brought home the satin sheets, and you just slid right out of bed......This post is dedicated to you ;)

FWB??? Aaaah Duh? Of Course..

I received 3 emails in response to my post FWB (Friends with Benefits) So I feel led to elaborate.... If you canvas my works in my blog archives,you will discover a theme: I enjoy the physical form, and I have a healthy sex drive. I also live in Seattle, which has a notorious-yet-accurate reputation for wringing the romance right out of life. A great place to raise a family, but can be brutal on the love life..

I exist in a world where sex is easy, love is hard, and either way, I still crave sex. So yes, it's true: I have had sex minus the love, or the promise thereof. And here's the kicker: I was and can be absolutely fine with that. Not "fine" like passive-aggressively not-really-fine. Not "fine" like totally-defensive-about-it fine. Just totally okay with that situation. But not over the moon, but naturally, more like caught between the moon and New York City, as it were. I mean, who wouldn't prefer to be having mind-blowing sex regularly with their soul-mate? I'm a crazy hopeless lunatic romantic, I swear to you. I am, no exaggeration, always in some form of love –whether I'm coming out of it, going into it, somewhere in the middle of it-I AM A HOPELESS LUTATIC ROMANTIC!!! BUT I will swear under interrogation that that's not true, of course ;)... I will not tell you, for instance, whom I could currently claim to be in any stage of love with at this very moment, But I am. AND DON'T let me tell you otherwise ;). The point being that I loooove love. And despite reams of missteps in the name of romance, I'm willing to go at it again and again, quite like the trusty definition of insanity, about trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. However, often I'm busy. Other times I'm exhausted. Most of the time (lately), there simply aren't any soul-mates in the offing. (Which is to say that whomever I claim to love at the moment may have a girlfriend, just losing a girlfriend or lives in another state). So I find myself with a potential partner I like well enough, but do not and will not ever love. Maybe we had an instant connection over our love of education, books, or maybe they were just too freaking yummy to pass up. A real, live person is just better than any vibrator. I don't care what kind of technological advances are coming out of “Lovers”.

A few of my girlfriends gasp in wonder at my apparently superhuman ability to transcend the sex-love connection. "I just can't do it," one single one says. "I don't think I could handle that if I were still out there," the married one says. What I say is “I don't see any choice.” If we're going to do this putting-off-marriage thing, and we're going to focus on careers instead of spouses, and we're going to wait until we find the Big Love before settling down,,,,, well, how is it that we're not going to act like nut jobs in the meantime? How are we going to quell that desperate look in our eyes when we meet a prospect? And how are we going to stop ourselves from being blinded by lush lips and sexy hips and six packs? Girls,there's only one answer: We have to break the ironclad love-sex bond. It's simply the only way to survive all this without going mad...........

I have learned that what you get in the standard, responsible, very much warranted sex talk from Mom in adolescence, isn't necessarily true in modern adulthood. Sex isn't just something two people do to show they love each other very much. Sex is a biological drive, and you will lose your mind if you repress it for too long. We're all a little different on this score; some women can go much longer than others. But in a dating era when not looking crazy is half the battle, showing up to the party sexually satisfied goes a long way. Then you're not clinging to Mr./Mrs. Good Prospect because they can handle that for you; you're flirting with them because you see them for what they are, and you like it! Imagine how loony you'd act if you literally depended on some individual to satisfy another basic biological need, like eating???/!!! Yep, that's about how you look when you come at the right person with your libido on overdrive, freaking LOONY! This doesn't mean we should all go on sexual rampages, mind you. It's like eating and drinking: Listen to your body, and do it in moderation. You will know when you're satiated, and then you will stop. You won't go after anything that's blatantly bad for you. You will use your best judgment. (P.S. A good tip from a friend's ex-lover: If you're going to have recreational sex multiple times with the same person, "You can only cash in three times." After that, a little static cling is bound to develop, no matter how evolved you think you are.)

These days, I'm truly, honestly ready -- and hoping -- to meet the person who will bring it all back together for me. I want soul-mate sex, or at least potential-soul-mate sex. And in the meantime, I do have a vibrator -- and the reassurance that I live in a city full of eligible individuals :).. Just the “World” according to SoRare ;)

Can We Be FWB's and Thats It?

I believe, "Life According to SoRare", that EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you know, you fell in love with a person. You
anticipate their call, want their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with this person isn't hard. In fact, it can seem to be a ompletely spontaneous experience, almost effortless. YOU DON'T have to DO anything!!! So I guess that's why it's called "FALLING" in love - because it happens TO YOU! Question? Why do people in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet!" Let's Just think about the imagery of that expression for just a moment, shall we.... This expression, in itself, implies that they were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO THEM....Hmmmm,Fact or Fiction? Well, I don't know about being swept off my feet,,,but I do know that falling in love is easy and thats just because it is a totally passive and spontaneous experience. No complaints from me here, I love love ;)....

But what about embarking on a sexual relationship with no emotional attachment, is it possible? Can two consenting adults really have a sexual relationship with no emotional involvement? I think anything is possible, and in some situations it can be the only probable recourse :) Even tho I believe that once two people have sex, there is an unexplainable bond that is created, that seem to pull them together, whether they want it to happen or NOT. I don't believe that this bond means that they are instantly in love just because they had sex, it just changes the relationship they had before, sometimes for the better ;), sometimes not:( I mean "I" enjoy hanging out with someone that is so undemanding and uncomplicated, but even this can turn around and bite you on the ass, for I still find myself relying on this "arrangement", and even this leads to involvement!!! Truely lifes little LOL, along with the endless obsession with how women are going to die alone because they have brains and casual sex has truly become the gift that keeps on giving as well..;)..I say all this too say,,,I spent 3.5 hours on the phone with Jesse last night, the NOLONGER married Jesse.Hmmmm...Do I Notice a DIFFERERNCE???? And then there is SammySmith. LOL, I am feeling Cynicle.....What does anyone really want???LOL

I Am Back. Power of a Compliment

It seems so simple and yet is often overlooked: a genuine compliment offered at the right time, in the right way, can help a budding relationship soar to new heights. Why? Because we’re all human, and we all love to know we are appreciated and admired—especially by someone of the opposite sex whom we appreciate and admire in return.

Millennia ago, King Solomon wrote hundreds of proverbs that became part of the Bible’s Old Testament. Recognized by historians as one of the wisest people who ever lived, he said, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” And, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Those were poetic ways of saying that words of affirmation and approval have a dynamic effect on the recipient. In this regard, nothing has changed since the ancient days of Solomon: inspirational words will resonate and reverberate in the life of the one who receives them.

Before I go any further, let’s clear up one thing--we’re not talking about manipulation and maneuvering. Smooth-talking schmoozers and phony flatterers can fool people for only so long. In our age of slick advertisements and clever marketing ploys, we’ve all got our antennae up for come-ons and con men. Instead, we’re talking here about communicating sincere, heartfelt admiration for qualities in your partner. It’s about identifying traits you value about the person you’re dating and expressing authentic appreciation.

Psychologists have identified a “secret” to wonderful relationships: Our love for another person is strongly influenced by how that individual makes us feel about ourselves. Since one of the most potent motivations in life is to feel good about ourselves, we will be drawn to a person who gives a boost to our self-esteem. Some may say this principle sounds self-centered and egocentric, but it is a basic fact of human nature. And indeed this can be a powerful positive force: couples with the best relationships are the ones who encourage, praise, and build up each other.

There’s nothing wrong with a generalized “I think you’re great” kind of accolade -- but for maximum impact, make it precise and particular. Tell the person exactly what you admire, with plenty of details. If you like your partner’s sense of humor, tell him or her what especially makes you laugh. If you admire the person’s generosity, say why that means so much to you. Don’t worry about going overboard -- most people are more than happy to receive excessive praise.

Some of us feel a little sheepish about giving compliments, so we do it with a quick pat on the back or a mumbled commendation. That’s okay -- certainly better than nothing. But it’s much more meaningful to look someone in the eye, maybe grab the person’s hand, and say, “I’ve noticed something very impressive about you...”

If you want to amplify kudos for your significant other, accentuate the positives publicly. Over dinner with friends, you can say, “I thought it was awesome that Pat spent the past three weekends volunteering with Habitat for Humanity.” Or at a family gathering: “I’m sure you know about Kelly’s job promotion. Well deserved!”

How about putting it in writing? This doesn’t mean texting or an email message. Take a few minutes to write a note -- with pen and paper -- saying what you value about the other person. “Just wanted to tell you that I appreciate...” In our era of digital and disposable communication, an old-fashioned, handwritten note is something permanent that can be read over and over.

If you are looking for a lasting and loving relationship, keep this principle front and center in your mind: When you help your lover feel great about himself or herself -- and use compliments to do so -- the love will return to you tenfold. So I am expecting a BIG PAYOFF SOON ;)